Friday, August 30, 2019



MIDNIGHT MUSINGS

I try to go to bed around eleven at night. That means I go to sleep about an hour later.  I can set my clock by the fact that I am going to wake up between three and three thirty.  Four or five hours uninterrupted is the best I can hope for.  There are a lot of reasons for that, but that’s not what I want to talk (write) about today.
I want to discuss all those things that run rampant through my mind when I wake up.  I try to wake up without my brain knowing I’m awake.  If it knows, and it usually does, it goes off on some of the strangest tangents you can imagine.  Or maybe you wouldn’t want to imagine some of the things that I think about at that time of the night/early morning.
For the last few weeks, the topic has been things that I don’t understand or things that I question or those that generally just don’t make sense. At least to me.
Let me give you a few examples.  Out of the blue or black as is were, one night I woke up and wondered how meat tenderizer knows when to stop working.  Think about it.  Put it on a tough piece of meat, it starts to tenderize it.  Does cooking kill it?  If not, does it tenderize your stomach?
Same thing for pre-shrunk pants, shirts and other pieces of clothing.  How do they know my size?  Is the shrinking stuff lying in wait for me to put the jeans on? Ah ha, the jean say.  We are going to shrink some more, or oh (**&^)(&( we shrunk too much and now you can’t get in them.
Ever go to a hotel or motel that costs more than $39.99 and up, double occupancy?  Go in the bathroom and look at the toilet paper.  The first sheet is folded into a little point.  Who does that and why?  Does the motel owner run an ad in the paper…help wanted.  Must be adapt at folding toilet paper into little points. My theory is they do it to see if you actually use it.  One of the things I always do before I leave is to refold the first sheet into the little point. It’s especially fun if you’ve been staying in the room for a few days and have wife/husband and kids with you.
There are others, but I think you get the point.  I don’t think I’m crazy or anything serious like that, but maybe the jury is still out on that verdict.
There is one more that I am actually hesitant to mention, but I really need some help with this one.  If you know the answer, please let me know.  It’s been at the top of what I call my “three a.m. creative thinking period.”
Ready?  Did Adam and Eve have a belly button?  

1 comment:

  1. On Adam and Eve: Also wonder if they had baby teeth, or if they had a full set of adult choppers right off the bat.

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