Weight…Weight…don’t tell me.

It’s the first of the new year and time to make changes.  Make those New Year’s Resolutions that you never keep.  Start getting all your income tax information together so you can file early this year in January…or March..or at midnight on April 14^th.  Plan the summer vacation well in advance so you can get reservations at that place you see advertised on television…free airfare…women in bikinis, men with six-pack abs, all you can drink….sorry.  Sold out two years in advance.

For me, I decided to start an exercise program so I can lose a few pounds, regain the body I had when I was…was…younger…not so old…all of the above.  I have been doing some research to find the best way to accomplish my goals and here’s where it gets a little hairy.

I need a machine so I looked at the Bowflex.  I saw an ad on television about it.  Great looking women, sweaty men, none of them gasping for breath, so I checked it out. I figured if I’m going to go, I’ll go all the way.  Top of the line.  Get one with all the whistles and bells.  It’s only $3,000 and I have to pay shipping.

Maybe I’ll do the old tried and true Nordic Track.  A friend has one and swears by it.  He put it in his bedroom and said he lost five pounds the first two weeks.  The third week he needed a place to hang his jacket when he came home late so he temporarily placed it on the Nordic Track, which by the way, cost him $2,800.00.  By the end of the first month, he found out he had a clothes rack that cost as much as a cruise to the Bahamas.  Swear by it? Now he just swears at it.

I had a great idea. If my excess weight was in the middle of my body, I could have it drop down by buying a Teeter Hang Up and letting gravity take over.  That little idea cost me $500.00.

Enough with the machines. It stands to reason that if you burn more calories than you eat, you will lose weight.  Just pick the right foods and I’m not good at that or I wouldn’t be looking at things that turn me upside down, so I went for the diet plans.  Found a new one called Golo.  Weight loss in a bottle.  Six month supply for only $60.00 a bottle for each month.  I seriously considered it until I went to the website and saw five pages of instructions and warnings.

Enough of this nonsense. I want to make it happen so I went to Nutrisystem.  If it’s good enough for Marie, it’s gotta be good for everyone.  Only $425.00 per month but I got a week’s worth of “free” shakes.   If I combine that one with the South Beach Diet…I didn’t really consider the diet at $360.00 per month but I really like watching Jessi James Decker on the beach.

All of them advise checking with your doctor before you go on any diet or exercise program.  For once I followed their advice and talked to my doctor.  He had the best advice I have ever gotten.  He said he wanted me to “watch my waistline.”  I am now in complete compliance.  All I have to do is look down and I can see it and watch it anytime I want to.  It’s right there for me to see.  I’m just glad I didn’t go to my podiatrist and he told me to watch my feet.