Thursday, September 27, 2018

War Stories and Fairy Tales



If you’ve been reading these blogs and paying attention (there will be an unannounced test one day) you know I am a retired Army officer.  After I retired, or more accurately, shortly before I did, I started on my second career as a writer.  By the time I retired I had written over one hundred short stories and magazine articles and one novel. To be more exact, not only had I written all of those but they had been published and most had been in paying markets, so I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided I wanted to be a writer when I grew up.

As a part of this career, I have taught at three different colleges and I speak at, or do workshops at several writer’s conferences every year.  That brings me to the point of this piece of literary dribble.

Two weeks ago, I attended the largest convention of mystery writers, editors, agents and fans in the country, or perhaps the world since there were attendees from several foreign countries.  It was held in St. Petersburg, FL over a four day week-end.  Over 1500 people attended, the great majority of which seemed to be mystery fans. They came to meet and get autographs and photos with their favorite authors.  Publishers were there to give away books and there were so many available that UPS had a room there with a crew that did nothing but pack and ship books.  A smart attendee could get at least a year’s worth of free books for the price of a box and some tape.

There were workshops on every topic a mystery writer or fan could imagine.  Want to poison someone? Need to know how to match fingerprints? Does CSI really look like it does on television?  Thinking of writing a cozy?  Want to work with a co-writer? Need an agent? Publisher?  There were workshops on these and many other topics, but the one I want to talk about is the one I was on.  Military writers.  Not writing military themed books so much, but the panel was made up of writers with a military background.

We had six men on the panel. Four had seen service in Iraq or Afghanistan, one had no combat service and I was the lone Viet Nam veteran.  Get a panel like that and the war stories flew like wild geese in winter.  We had a former SEAL, a Combat Surgeon, a jet pilot, a Navy man who did something I never quite understood and me, the Grunt.  We answered all the questions asked of us and though we did not admit it, we all were waiting for THE QUESTION. “You were in combat.  Did you ever have to take a life?”  Anytime that questions comes up, most people’s tap dancing answer would make Fred Astaire look like a peg-legged duck.  We told war stories.  Funny ones.  Serious ones. A few may have been lies, but that’s the nature of a war story.

And to that point, I will leave you with the age old question.  Do you know the difference between a war story and a fairy tale?  A fairy tale always begins with “Once upon a time.”  A war story always begins with, “Now, this ain’t no shit….”

1 comment:

  1. Paul, I hadn't seen this blog but it's damn interesting. From your brief autobiography to the convention description, I read this with curiosity. Coincidentally, last night my wife and I had a holiday dinner with several family members at the home of her cousin, and her husband, Johnny, is also a Vietnam vet. I've known him for about thirty years and he's never uttered a word about his experiences. Another family member, Andy, is living is S.F. and is also a Vietnam vet. He, too, is someone I've known for many years and the same thing - not a word. One day when we were having a family dinner at Johnny's house and the subject of Robin Williams came up. Andy and I both agreed that he was one of our favorite comedians. Without thinking, I foolishly mentioned how much I liked the movie, Good Morning Vietnam. As soon as the comment left my mouth I regretted saying it but it was too late. Johnny just stared at me for several very uncomfortable moments. Andy, fortunately, lightened the mood saying something to change the subject but I thought of that exchange for several days afterward. I guess what I'm getting at is that in my opinion, anyone who didn't share the same war experience that you did, or those Iraq and Afghanistan vets, has no sense of propriety asking any of you whether you ever killed someone. It's a private, perhaps nightmarish matter that none of us who observed things from the safety of our own American lives has a right to ask.

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