Thursday, December 28, 2017

Make that S.H.I.T Up and make it Work!

Write what you know…. wrong

From the time we first were given the assignment to write a story, the teacher told us to “write what you know about.”  At the time that was pretty good advice since it was probably given in the third or fourth grade.  As youngsters, we had a limited view of the world and didn’t know much about things outside our family or neighborhood.  That’s not the case now, so forget that sage advice and listen up.

In my humble opinion, if there is such a thing, I say as writers it’s much more important to know about what you’re writing that to write about what you know about.  Confusing?  Not really when you think about it.  How many science fiction writers have actually been in space? Seen Mars?  Stepped foot on Venus or rode in an alien space ship?  Not many, I’ll bet but they write about it in a convincing manner and make the reader believe what they are reading.

I’m not going to ask how many mystery writers have killed someone or robbed a bank or set up a long con, but you get the idea.  This is where research comes in.  Talk to people how have done the things you want to write about or read other books and publications on the subject.  If the other person got it right or at least believable, so can you. 

I completed a BA in Criminology when I was on active duty in the Army.  I missed a class on Juvenile Justice and the instructor told me to find a facility and go interview a kid who was incarcerated.  I contacted the local sheriff and asked if he would set it up.  I went to the facility on the way home from work one day and I happened to be in uniform.  I met a young boy about twelve.  He was quiet, somewhat shy and seemed out of place there.  We talked for a while, never discussing why he was in there and towards the end of the conversation, he asked if I was in the Army.  I told him I was and he said he’d like to join one day.  I, being a former recruiter, told him he had his life ahead of him, to stay on the straight and narrow and he might still be able to join.  He then asked if the Army taught me how to shoot a gun and asked if I had one.  I answered him and his next comment is one I will never forget.  “I wish I knew how to shoot a gun.  I’d kill my father.”  I can only imagine what was done to that child for him to have that much hate in his heart.  What’s that got to do with “write about what you know about?”  Until that day, I could not imagine that a child could possibly do the things I saw at that facility.

After that, I have given myself permission to have my characters do the most heinous and vicious things to each other in my books and scripts.  I console myself with the fact that it’s my characters and not me doing those things but I usually find someone who has already done them and pattern my actions after them.


Writing about your puppy or grandma’s cookies is okay if you’re under the age of ten, but if you want readers to respond by spending money, do some research.  Stretch out.  Find out how to rob a bank or fly the space shuttle.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Self-Editing and Other Misteaks

Self-Editing and Other Misteaks

You’ve finished writing the great American novel, or at least a pretty decent short story, magazine article or poem.  Spell check found several errors and in the second read you even found where you put a semi-colon where you should have used a colon or something like that.

You print a copy or do a cover letter and use the piece as an attachment and send it on its way.  All you have to do now is to wait for the check and the accolades to flood in.  Right?  Maybe. But then again…

What about where you meant to say “think” and instead you wrote “thing.”  Spell check didn’t catch it because “thing” is a real word.  Your brain didn’t catch it because you knew what you meant to write and your brain gave you a pass on the word.

Even worse, you use the piece in your next writing workshop and hand out copies for the group to read.  A hand goes in the air and asks if you really sent this off with this many mistakes in it.  You stammer and stutter…but…but…I read it twice…no three times and…

The problem is that YOU read it.  You can’t find your own mistakes.  I write both novels and screenplays.  When I have a script ready, in my opinion, to hit the market, I send it to my manager in Los Angeles.  I’ve come to realize that no matter how good I think it is, he will find mistakes in spelling, punctuation or something.  The story is sound, but the mechanics are the little things that keep us from being published or produced.

In my screenwriting class on the first day, when the students arrive, on the board is the following sentence:  There going over their to pick up they’re stuff.  Although it’s not a first year English class, I know some of the students see no problem with the sentence.  They read it and it sounds okay.  I also know that during the semester I will see the same thing in some of their writing.

So…what do you do to combat such mistakes?  There are several programs for writers that will help you find mistakes.  I use one that tells me if I use the same word too many times.  It has sixteen things it looks for to include foreign word, profanity, adjectives and other things I’m not even aware I do.  If you find a program that you like and works for you, it will show you just how many times you use the word “just” or “simply” or some other word that you feel you just simply can’t live without.  You can just simply trust me on this.

If you don’t want to add another program to your computer, here are a few suggestions that I have heard other writers do.  Cover the text on the page and read it one line at a time. Read each sentence backwards.  Read it aloud to someone who knows nothing about the story, or have them read it to you.


If you want someone to send you a check, you’ve got to stand out in the crowd.  Do the best job you can and don’t steak minakes.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

You’re not crazy. You’re a writer.

You’re not crazy.  You’re a writer.

Picture this.  You’re in a doctor’s office.  Let’s make it a Psychiatrist, just for fun.  The doctor gives you a bunch of tests and you are pretty sure you pass all of them.  Now it comes time for the interview.

“Come in and have a seat.  Are you comfortable?”  The voice is nice and soothing so you take a seat and get comfortable.  “Let’s get started. I just want to find out a little more about you.”

He or she asks questions like where did you grow up. Where did you go to school?  Parents good to you?  Buy you that pony for Christmas?  That sort of things to get you relaxed before you get the hard questions.

Just when you think you are safe the first bomb drops.  “Do you ever hear voices?”  What are you supposed to say?  Before you can answer, you’re hit with another one.  “Do you respond to those voices?  Do they often tell you what to do and do you do it?”  Now you’re stating to sweat.  “When you hear those voices do they make sense and do you talk back to them?  Do you ever imagine you’re someone else…you know…and really get into their head?”

You want to jump up and run as far away as you can, but you don’t because you know what’s coming.  His diagnosis is that you’re crazy as a bedbug.  Let’s pause here for a word of explanation.  I have no idea how crazy a bed bug is and I doubt anyone else does, but it’s an expression I’ve heard all my life and the only other analogy I could think of was “crazy as a shithouse rat” and I didn’t want to say that in case I offended someone.  Okay, back to the couch.

You’re not crazy.  You’re a WRITER!  If you don’t hear voices how are you going to know what your characters want to say.  If you can’t become your character how will you know how he or she acts in the situations you have planned for them?  Do you talk to your characters?  Come on.  You can admit it.  No one is listening.  I do and it’s some of the most interesting conversations I have.  Where else can you talk to a space monster, a bank robber, a serial killer, a gardener or any number of other people you may never meet?

Never mind what the doctor says, let the characters talk to you and it’s okay to talk to them in response.  You may never get the chance to do some of the things your characters do in your real life.  When you are sitting at the computer or yellow legal pad composing your story and breathing life and words into your characters, if you’re not true to them your readers will know in a heartbeat.  You owe it to both your characters and you readers to listen and respond to your characters.  Do what they tell you and don’t worry about the doctor.  There are enough legitimately slightly off-bubble people out there to keep him busy for a while.


And now if you’ll excuse me. I hear someone calling me.

2019 Telly Award Winner

Feature films have the Oscar.  Television has the Emmy.   Films straight to DVD have the Telly. This is the 2019 People’s Choice Award ...